Breaking Property Markets

Today we’re launching our brand new news program, delivered to you right here on the Channel 17 blog! I’m Chuck Fiddlesticks reporting to you live with breaking news. We’re just getting reports that Premier Norris has made sweeping changes to certain laws involving the sale of property. Exactly what laws have been altered, we are not permitted to tell you yet.

What we can tell you is that these changes will impact how we purchase property going forward. I’m here outside Government House, and already people are gathering to protest these adjustments before they even know what they actually are. It’s quite an extraordinary scene, one that is seriously making me question the nature of this news format.

We’re getting word now that Premier Norris is about to give a press conference that will shake the foundations of the property market and conveyancing firms within the Melbourne area. We’ll report back to you once the conference is over, since we don’t have live streaming enabled on this page.

Well wasn’t that something, folks? It’s safe to say that buying property will never be the same, and it certainly will never be easier if you’re the right person. The right person, of course, being Premier Norris. The new changes to the Sale of Land Act 1962 mean that the Premier of Victoria will be able to purchase any property he wishes, without the need to get so much as a section 32 statement. The Premier has the right to take both sides of a negotiation, meaning that he can choose the price that a home is sold for and then agree to it.

This just in, I’m hearing that the protesters aren’t actually here regarding these changes. They are here to protest the government’s failure to keep the public transportation system running. Trains and busses all across the state have shut down due to lack of drivers, thanks to a mysterious hole in the Public Transportation budget which means they can’t be paid. These are indeed dire times for Premier Norris. Could a series of bad decisions be coming back to haunt him?