‘I’m glad you could all be here today,’ the new executive spoke from the front of the boardroom. Most people speaking to the board spoke uncomfortably, like ten-year-olds giving a book report. But this man… he was confident.
He was impressive.
‘I have exciting news to share with you,’ he said, speaking to everyone in the room and also, somehow, specifically to me. ‘As some of you may be aware, I’ve been tasked by our esteemed leadership to bolster our brand image, bring in prospective clients from across the country with a new, exciting vision.’
A smattering of nods and the occasional ‘hear, hear’ from the dinosaurs in the room. I fought the urge to roll my eyes, then remembered I was in charge and did it anyway.
‘My plan was simple,’ the hotshot went on. ‘I was just going to track down a video production company near Melbourne to help produce a corporate video.’
His gaze slid around the room, as he paused for dramatic effect.
‘But that’s not what I’ve done,’ he said.
Confusion rippled across the board. I began to frown as well.
‘What do you mean?’ I asked, hesitantly. ‘We had an agreement.’
‘Our agreement was that I would bolster your brand image,’ he said. ‘Not how I would do it.’
‘No,’ I shook my head. ‘You were pretty explicitly told that we wanted a marketing video production expert.’
‘But what I’m delivering you is so much better,’ he said, eyes sparkling. He reached into his pocket and pulled out – his smartphone.
‘Social media engagement,’ he began.
‘Nope,’ I cut him off, rising to my feet and leaning over for the intercom. ‘Security, come and retrieve this man.’
‘What?’ he asked, face sinking into a pale white. ‘But you haven’t heard my pitch yet.’
‘Sorry, kid,’ I said, gathering my papers and heading for the door. ‘But I’ve heard more than enough.’
‘Yeah,’ I chuckled. ‘Just one of them would have sent you packing. Three? No chance.’
I swept out of the room, leaving him and the rest of the board looking very confused.