Table Salesman

My dream is finally coming alive. I’ve just rented the space for an office building. This will be the base for my salesmen, as my worldwide empire expands. But I suppose we have to start small for now. Although, I suppose it’s been a while since I’ve written an update. You’re probably quite confused.

You may have seen it in the newspapers or news television programs, but I recently won table of the year at the World Carpentry Convention. That was just the beginning. With the right marketing and sales departments, I’ll have one of these tables in every house on the planet. We’ve got the award to back it, and by the time I’m done, I’ll have more money than William Doors and a name to rival McDolans.

First, however, I need to sort out this office space. Before I go to an office design business in Melbourne, I want to have an initial concept at least. I want it to be modern, but classy. We need to show that we’re not just your average woodworking company. We’re your super woodworking company. I’m revolutionising the industry. Have you ever had a salesperson call you and try to sell a table? I thought not. Well, prepare yourself, because we’re coming. As soon as I make sure we have one of the best office fitouts Melbourne has to boast.

We will conquer the state, then the country. Eventually the world. Every other table company will be put out of business because there will be no need for them. We will have a complete monopoly on the market, simply by having, unquestionably, the best table ever created. I don’t care how big your dining room is, or if you want to use the table for a role-playing game of ‘Goblins and Grottos’. Our table will be the perfect fit. That is a personal guarantee. If you’re dissatisfied with my table design, I will personally pay you for your trouble. That’s how confident I am in this product. Because in order to get the money from me, you will have to give the table up. And you would never want to do that.