Energy

‘Minus the six,’ I muttered to myself, tongue sticking out of my mouth as I concentrated on the notepad in front of me.

‘You forgot to carry that one.’

I yelped like an actual baby and almost fell out of my office chair. I looked up to see the new girl, Elaine, standing over my shoulder.

‘What the hell?!’

‘Sorry, sorry!’ she laughed, taking a step back and putting a hand over her mouth to show her remorse. ‘I thought you knew I was there!’

‘I was… concentrating,’ I huffed, adjusting my tie and looking around for the pencil I’d accidentally thrown across the cubicle. ‘Can I help you with something?’

‘Oh, I just need you to sign these for the boss,’ she said, brandishing a small stack of papers. ‘What were you doing?’

None of your business, I seethed internally. Reflecting on many, many hours of therapy, I kept it inside instead.

‘Solar power,’ I grunted. ‘My wife is trying to see if we can afford solar power.’

‘Oh, cool,’ Elaine beamed at me. ‘Why the long division though?’

‘Because I’m figuring out how much it costs, alright?’ I glared at her, hoping she’d get the message before I had to say something mean.

‘No, I just meant – why are you doing it by hand?’

She rushed over to me, and pulled up a website on my computer.

‘Ta-da!’ she grinned. ‘Use this. It’s a solar panel output calculator for residences.’

‘So?’

‘So, plug in your details,’ she gestured. ‘It’ll tell you how much you’re gonna save!’

My frown must have deepened, as she slipped into a slightly paler complexion.

‘Or do it later,’ she grinned meekly. ‘Whatever suits.’

She went to run away, but I counted down from five and let out a deep sigh.

‘Wait!’

She paused in the hallway.

‘Do you know anything about what it costs to install solar battery storage around Melbourne?’ I asked her. She shook her head.

I let out another sigh and held out my hand for her papers.

‘Pass me a pencil?’

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to run a factory. That might sound strange, especially coming from someone with zero experience in large-scale production or logistical management. But then, maybe it’s precisely that lack of experience that makes me curious. I guess there’s some kind of power in rolling out batches upon batches of identical items, and watching these flawless doppelgangers tumble into a box or a bin or the back of a truck. That’s how I imagine it goes down in factory-land, anyway.

Maybe the appeal is amplified by seeing more examples of large-scale commercial solar across Melbourne. This means that running a factory is not necessarily a dark cesspit where energy resources go to die. Not to say that big manufacturing companies aren’t extremely energy intensive, but it’s now at least possible to run them on renewables… and what if, like, they create a product that assists in improving the world’s resource efficiency, such as ultra-strong and lightweight solar panels?

That’s the kind of factory I’d be curious to try running for a day – namely, an idealised one that wouldn’t bring up feelings of shame around contributing pure junk to the world. It would gleam with inspired efficiency and economy of design, a state-of-the-art 100kW system poised atop its roof, which is also designed for passive cooling. A fleet of electric trucks are parked in front, charging from additional solar systems tailored to the purpose. Native pollinators encircle the building’s grounds, joined in uplifting song.

I’m starting to understand what interests me about the notion of running a factory. It’s the principles of design and efficiency involved, and integrated at numerous levels across the whole operation – from infrastructure and equipment to power and systems. Where else do so many factors come together in such an interconnected way, united in an overarching scheme to minimise waste and maximise productivity? And who’s to say that such a matrix of elements couldn’t amount to something that is, on some level, beautiful?

Introducing the new Solar Entertainment System! The perfect gaming console for the entire galaxy. It doesn’t matter if you work in an office, a commercial warehouse or from the comfort of your own couch; the SES can go with you anywhere. It weighs less than light itself and runs practically at FTL speeds! Our gaming system has so much battery storage that you won’t ever even have to charge it. We’ve achieved this by using commercial battery storage. Melbourne, Boston and Manchester* residents beware though! This console is so awesome that it might destroy productivity in your entire city.

*This is in no way an exhaustive list of cities that may suffer from reduced productivity as a direct result of our gaming console.

What sort of games do we have? Well, I’m glad you asked! We have games such as Crazy Bandicoot Who Looks More Like a Fox, I’m Famous, Exploding Pigs, Ultra Maria Sisters, Loudly Shouting: The Game, Hello and so much more. What’s that? All of those games are exclusive to the consoles they were originally released on? Well, that’s the beauty of the Solar Entertainment System. We’ve taken the best commercial solar systems and combined them with classic consoles in order to create one portable super console that uses only renewable energy! Don’t ask us how we did it! Don’t ask us if it’s legal! Just accept that this is the greatest gaming system ever created and buy it from us.

There’s no need to buy those bootlegged emulation systems because they simply don’t work like our entertainment system does. With all those cheap emulators you have to find the games yourself. The SES comes pre-loaded with every game you could ever want and is updated regularly with the newest releases. Now don’t ask any more questions. Order the SES from us before it goes away forever! The Solar Entertainment System won’t be around much longer.