Garden

In a dark sewer on the outskirts of Melbourne’s CBD, fate brought Romeo the rat face-to-face with the love of his life. During his lunch break, while rushing towards a pop-up store selling peanuts smothered in melted cheese, he collided with her—Ruliet. With her glistening black eyes and twitching whiskered nose, she was the most captivating sight he had ever beheld. After exchanging apologies, they couldn’t bear to part ways, and since then, they’ve met almost daily, growing inseparable.

Now, two months into their enchanting relationship, Romeo hatches a surprise plan. Throughout their time together, roses, particularly miniature roses designed for rats, have played a significant role. Romeo regularly stops at the dingy sewer flower store on his way home from work, bringing back roses for Ruliet. His upcoming surprise takes that idea to a grander level. Bravely venturing aboveground, he secures a small patch of land as a gift for Ruliet. Though not much, just a square metre of grass and dirt a short distance from a human fast-food restaurant, it’s a heartfelt offering that he intends to transform entirely.

To begin, Romeo will plant thornless roses to add vibrant colours to the space. The choice of thornless roses is essential for their safety, as once the bush grows to its full height, navigating underneath it could prove perilous with sharp thorns threatening from every angle. He would never want his beloved Ruliet to endure such risks. Transforming the garden will demand considerable effort as he scurries around different human gardening stores, discreetly procuring small portions of seeds. Yet, every bit of hard work will be worth it when he sees the sheer surprise and joy on Ruliet’s face.

In this remarkable tale of romance, Romeo the rat’s love and dedication prove that even in the unlikeliest of places, true love can bloom and flourish. With the miniature rose garden as a testament to their bond, their love story will continue to thrive amid the bustling world of humans and rodents alike.

I think my housemate might be letting herself get carried away with her enthusiasm for adding new plants to the garden. It’s all well and good for her to be sprucing things up around here; my concern is just that she’s buying new plants at a faster rate than she can look after them. This is taking into account the fact that she only started up on this gardening bender a couple of months ago. In other words, she’s yet to prove her green thumb. 

I’ve always been the type who prefers to do one thing and do it well, ensuring it’s established before moving onto the next thing, so I find it jarring that she’s buying out the local nursery like her life depends on it. Not only that, but she’s buying things I’ve never heard of before, let alone seen in the flesh. For example, she came in yesterday with a whole bunch of grape hyacinth, which she says will sprout bright blue flowers in Spring. 

I know I sound like a real downer, but I’m just being realistic. Besides, it’s not like I’m against the whole gardening frenzy. I actually think the addition of the Mexican orange blossom at the front gate was an inspired move, such that I’m willing to contribute to its upkeep. But bundles of blue-blooming bulbs? Well, time will tell. 

Now, I realise that spring bulbs aren’t that expensive – something like $5-10 a pop, I’m guessing. But we’re talking about someone who begs out of buying toilet paper on a regular basis because she’s ‘waiting for pay to come in’. How does she have $50 to spend on hyacinth bulbs, for crying out loud? All I can say is the next round of dunny rolls is on her. Either that, or she turns out to have an incredible talent for raising bulbs and spreads joy throughout the land equivalent to chipping in for household expenses.