Renovations

I honestly think I have the worst laundry in the southern hemisphere. I don’t want to swear, but wow, it is that bad that I could. I have a dodgy washing machine and about a 30cm bench next to it, in a tiny cupboard that can’t even have a door because the washing machine protrudes out of the cupboard. It’s an eyesore and isn’t functional in the slightest. To say I hate it would be an understatement. I’m always embarrassed when people come over and see it, it’s just the worst. 

Last week I reached my tipping point. I had absolutely had enough of the worst “laundry” in the world and called a variety of top laundry designers. My only brief was something better than what I’ve currently got. That is surely not difficult in the slightest. They could simply add a door and I’d be 100% happier than I already am. Luckily the designers that I’ve chosen are going to do more than just add a door, and have completely reinvented the space. They’re design has doubled the laundry’s size and made it a billion times more functional than it currently is. I’m stoked. I’ll have to get builders in to remove a couple of walls, but that is an investment I am definitely ready to make.

I guess I really am an adult now. I never thought I’d get excited over the best laundry renovations Melbourne has to offer. When I moved here to begin my adult life,  I knew this fantastic city would inevitably have fantastic laundries. After all this, I’ll be able to join the upper echelon with top class, magazine-worthy laundries, and I am so excited. 

Once my laundry is ready, I might start saving to redesign my bathroom. That’ll be five or so years off at least, but it’s smart to start saving up. If my laundry designers do a good job, I’ll most likely use them for the bathroom too. Fingers crossed. 

Rebecca found great joy in being a rat most of the time, but whenever she interacted with Remy, she wished she were human, just so she could avoid understanding his nonsensical chatter. Remy seemed to talk endlessly about trivial matters, and she suspected it was solely because he enjoyed the sound of his own voice. His popularity among the other rats puzzled her, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was merely because of his wealth.

Today, Remy’s latest idea, which Rebecca was forced to endure, involved his newfound interest in becoming one of the best bathroom designers Melbourne had to offer. Although he had designed a few bathrooms in the past, Rebecca found his work to be outlandish. His focus on opulence and extravagance, driven by his pursuit of money, often resulted in bathrooms adorned with solid gold and ornate mirrors, but lacking in functionality. As a rat, Rebecca knew the importance of a functional bathroom, especially when navigating the dirty sewers all day.

Remy persistently tried to persuade Rebecca to allow him to redesign her bathroom, but she was perfectly content with her own. She had crafted her dream bathroom beneath the city almost a decade ago, designed with her favourite colours, pink and purple, and perfectly suited to her needs. It even boasted a vanity mirror where she could apply her makeup. Knowing Remy’s penchant for extravagant makeovers, she feared he would ruin her sanctuary in an attempt to make it look more luxurious. Instead, she suggested he consider venturing into the custom kitchens business, but he remained unwavering in his bathroom-design aspirations.

Surprisingly, Remy had already begun to intrude upon other rats’ homes, redesigning their bathrooms without permission. He executed these stealthy renovations when the occupants were away or asleep, leaving them to discover the changes upon returning. Aware of Remy’s determination, Rebecca understood that she could eventually convince him otherwise if she kept engaging with him in conversation.

I’ve spent my whole day thinking about, writing about and talking about bathrooms. So I figured, why not talk about them in my personal blog as well! I don’t even really care about bathrooms. Yes, I appreciate a nicely designed, modern bathroom and I don’t particularly like old bathrooms, but I don’t obsess over them in magazines or anything like so many of my friends do. That’s why I’ve been talking about bathrooms all day.

My friend is reading a bathroom shower design magazine and has asked me to research some shower designs that I like myself. She then asked me to write a rationale as to why I liked each design and asked me to put some genuine effort into it. So, that’s what I did and I’m exhausted now.

On top of all the work my friend got me to do today, I have a quota that I need to meet for myself. Every week I need to write at least three blog posts on my personal blog to remain relevant. I am trying to build a following (as you would all know) and to be able to do that, I need to give my followers regular content to keep them engaged. But I’m really tired today and because my mind is full of bathrooms and the most popular bathroom renovations in Melbourne, that’s all I have the brain power to write about. So, I hope you guys find this engaging in the slightest!

To be honest, even I’m sick of this blog post. It’s not going anywhere and despite all the research and writing I was doing before, I don’t actually have any interesting information to pass on. In fact, all I’m getting when I try and think about what to write is images of bathrooms, taps, shower heads and tiles. I’m not getting any coherent sentences flashing through my mind. I’m done.

I feel sick this morning. I don’t know whether that’s because I ate something questionable, or if I’m nervous to go to work or if the universe just hates me, but I feel sick and can’t move from the bathroom. I’ve been in here with my head resting against the sink since 4:00am and it doesn’t look like I’m going to be leaving anytime soon. I guess my coworkers are going to have to do that massive presentation without me, which is no loss for me as long as they don’t think I’m purposely missing it. I don’t know if I’d rather spend my day in the bathroom or do that presentation, but I think the bathroom would be the more suitable choice.

Seeing as I’ve been lying here for four hours now, I’ve had a lot of time to appreciate my recent bathroom renovations. In Melbourne, renovators are truly the best in the business, and I’m glad that I have a job that pays me enough to be able to hire the best. Obviously, my job stresses me out to the point of being physically ill, but at least I get to be ill in a very luxurious bathroom. Everything evens out in the end.

But seriously, they did such a great job. I’ve never looked at my bathroom this closely before, or from this angle, and every finish is of the highest quality. Even though my bathroom was expensive, I definitely got value for money and it is probably one of the best bathroom renovations in Australia.

I hope that I feel less sick soon. I’ve taken a sick day, obviously, but it would be nice to be able to enjoy one of my very rare days off. I usually work 6-7 days per week just because of how busy we are, so it would be nice not to feel sick for the rest of the day.

Hey all, it’s Robbie R here, back with a blog post for what seems like the first time in ages. I know it feels like forever since Concept Artists released new music which is odd for our fans. Usually, we pump out music like a writer who can write 100,000 words in one month. But we’ve needed some time to reset creatively. Unfortunately, the other band members aren’t quite ready to come off hiatus. That doesn’t mean we don’t have good news, though. In fact, I have something really exciting to announce today.

I’m releasing a solo project. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while, covering a topic that I personally am passionate about. The idea didn’t really capture the others. I think it’s because we previously wrote an album about conveyancing, which is kind of similar since this project involves songs about bathroom designers around Melbourne. It’s another house-related album, so I understand their argument.

‘Dude, Where’s My Bathroom?’ is inspired by a true story of love, heartbreak and betrayal. You will literally be weeping by the second song, and that’s a guarantee from me. How could you not want to rip your own heart out of your chest to stop the swelling pain there as you listen to the dark ballad of a man who trusted his best friend with his bathroom, only to find that it had been redesigned while he was on holiday? A true tragedy.

It gets worse, as Darren, the antagonist, leaves the bathroom renovation cost for Robert to cover. For a bathroom renovation he didn’t even want! From there, the story follows Robert as he tries to track down Darren and make him pay for the bathroom redesign. In Sea of Fire and Ice, Robert must cross the ocean to find his ex-best friend. There they have an epic battle in One for the Ages, which results in the demise of Darren.

That’s when Robert learns he was in Darren’s will, receiving all of his wealth, which he uses to restore his bathroom to its former glory.

You’re going to love it, but maybe don’t read this blog post if you want to avoid spoilers.