Cars

I am so deathly afraid of birds… it’s not even funny how afraid I am. I was driving home from work the other day and a flock of birds started flying behind my car. I don’t know whether they were migrating or just sensed my pure fear, but they were genuinely following my car for about two hundred metres. It seemed too weird to be a coincidence. 

Out of fear, I decided that I needed to get the look of my car changed to try and prevent anything like this from happening again. Birds have long memories you see. If they can recognise faces then I’m sure they can recognise cars, and I don’t want them to remember what happened with my car and have it happen again. 

I took my car to the mechanic and got it painted a fresh new colour. Whilst I was there, I also asked the mechanic to do a brake pad replacement. In the Lockleys area, it isn’t uncommon for brakes to deteriorate faster than they should because of all the stopping and starting that has to be done. That’s why when I got a fresh coat of paint I also took the opportunity to get my brakes replaced. I mean, it would be silly not to.

I’ll keep you guys updated on how it goes with the whole birds chasing me situation. Hopefully, now that my car is bright blue instead of a deep red I’ll be able to avoid that terrifying bird situation from the other day. If it happens again I’ll probably cry, and go straight back to the mechanic and get my car painted a different colour. While I’m there I’ll probably get a car electrical service. Lockleys, like I said, has pretty harsh conditions that make it hard on cars. I may as well make getting my car painted a good thing, rather than a bad thing. 

I’ll update you guys on how the paint job goes.

I’ve been on four dates with this guy who seems pretty decent. I met him online, as you do in the twenty-first century, and I was pleasantly surprised! I’ve had so many failed first dates that I pretty much go into them now expecting them to go wrong. Online dating is great because it’s easy to meet people, but it’s bad because there’s usually always something weird about the person on the other end of the phone. 

My first two dates with Jack were awesome. We met in a public cafe in Moorabbin for the first date and then went to the movies for the second date. I was very impressed with him at this point. Things started getting iffy on the third date. I went to his house for the first time, and I noticed he didn’t have a car parked on the street in front of his house or in the carport. I queried it, because a twenty-six-year-old in my opinion should have a car, and he said the car is at an expert mechanic. In the Moorabbin area, there are plenty of expert mechanics so I didn’t think too much about it after that. 

The fourth date was when I started getting suspicious about his car situation. I invited him over to my house which is just over the other side of the city, and he said it was too hard for him to get to me. He invited me over to his place for dinner instead. I thought this was weird but let it go, and then when I got to his house, there was no car there again. I asked him about it, and he came up with some rushed excuse about how the car suspension specialists still have his car because they want it to be perfect. That’s bizarre in my opinion.

I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and go on one more date with him. If he doesn’t have his car back from the mechanic by then, we won’t be going on another date.

The last time we spoke, I was either thinking about purchasing a rundown car, or I had just purchased it. I can’t remember the exact timeline because I was so caught up in counting all my dividends and choosing old luxury cars to buy. I chose one (I won’t tell you the make and model for privacy reasons) and I took it to the mechanic straight away. Let’s just say, the mechanic was in awe of the car. 

The first repair I got was a professional brake repair close to Adelaide. I did my research before choosing the mechanic, just like I did my research before buying the old car and buying my shares. I’m a research type of man, and that’s just another reason that I’m so successful. I don’t waste my time working with people who aren’t the best in the business, and the mechanic I chose to restore my car to its former glory is definitely the right person for the job. 

I have had a total of eight repairs done to my car, and it is almost ready to be approved as a roadworthy vehicle. I’ve also had a very successful couple of months on the share market, even by my own standard, and I am ready to purchase another two old cars. I am going to start a collection of old vehicles and then sell the ones I don’t like for fifty times the amount I purchased them for. That’s business, baby. 

I was chatting with my mechanic the other day about my future purchases, and he said that once again he’d be happy to be the head mechanic leading the restoration process. While we were having this extensive conversation, I overheard someone ask for a mechanic to do a logbook service. In the Adelaide area, there are thousands of mechanics who do logbook servicing, but there is only one mechanic who can restore cars as well as mine can. I wonder if he was offended at being asked to do such a minor, uninteresting job. 

I’m going on a road trip! Starting in Toowoomba, I’m going to drive right up to Tropical North Queensland. I’ve taken three weeks off and I’m going to do a road trip with my three best friends. We’re going to take my car because it’s the newest and I’ve just had my most recent logbook service. Close to Toowoomba, mechanics take logbook services really seriously, so all of us will feel safe in my car. I’m also happy to do the bulk of the driving because I love driving, and I’d prefer to drive my car over someone else’s. 

Our first stop will be Rockhampton for a couple of days, then Airlie Beach, then Port Douglas and then we’re going right to the top – Bamaga. I’ve planned what we’re going to do in each location and even scheduled in time to relax to ensure that everyone gets to do what they want to do. I’m a bit of a planner, which can sometimes be my downfall but I figured that scheduling in relaxation time will satisfy everyone’s needs. 

When I got my log book service, I also got a car air conditioning service. In the Toowoomba area, car AC services aren’t included in logbook services because they’re not necessary for overall safety. I had to pay to get my car AC serviced because I didn’t want the four of us to be sweltering in the car for hours at a time. I love my friends but we’re going to be crammed into a relatively small car for long periods of time, and being hot and sweaty together is a recipe for disaster. Plus, with the air-con flowing through our hair we’re going to be able to live out our dream of travelling around the world (also known as Queensland) together and living our best lives. 

It’s time that I start packing. I think I’m only going to pack one pair of shorts so that I have room for twenty pairs of bathers.

I saw the most bizarre thing last night… I think. I looked out my window at about 3:00 am when I woke up to go to the bathroom and there was a man putting something on the windscreen of my car. I’m a woman who lives alone and so I wasn’t going to go out there and confront him, but I was definitely concerned about what I was going to find when I came outside in the morning.

Except when I came outside just a few minutes ago there was nothing on my car. I could have sworn that I saw someone put something on there. Am I going crazy? I definitely dreamt about it after I saw the man in the front of my car. I dreamt that my car needed general servicing which is bizarre because I haven’t had my car serviced in like five years. I don’t even think about getting it serviced – it runs just fine. But my dreams after I went back to sleep were filled with mechanics, tools and obscure car parts. It was weird.

I wonder if it was just my mind playing tricks on me. Was it my subconscious telling me after all these years that I need a car service? If so I should probably take it seriously, but that is a really creepy way for my mind to express itself. I hope I don’t start imagining random men each time my mind tells me that I need to do something. I mean, how hard is it for my mind just to have the random thought and tell me that I need to visit a mechanic near Morayfield instead of imagining a man standing next to my car and then having weird dreams about my car for the rest of the night?

I wish my brain could just be normal, but also I guess it’s good that a strange man wasn’t standing by my car at 3:00 am.

Hi Michael!

I feel the exact same way as you do about driving, but I’ve never told anyone. I think driving is a waste of money, and obviously bad for the planet, but money is my biggest factor. There are just too many expenses associated with driving that I can’t afford. I mean, I can barely afford rent, let alone a yearly car service, petrol, registration or insurance. I try to avoid driving as much as I can and I even spoke with my friends about selling my car because I needed the cash, and they looked at me as if I was some sort of outcast. Even mentioning my dislike for driving very briefly made me feel like a social outcast. How do you do it? Don’t you feel like you’re being judged every time you take to the footpath instead of the road?  

I’m being honest with you because I can’t really be honest with anyone else at the moment, but if I need one more brake repair or even the tiniest bit of car maintenance, I’m going to get rid of my car. I can’t afford it and it really isn’t worth me fixing a car that I don’t even want to have. I’m going to need your help learning to deal with the social stigma though. I’ve always cared about what people thought of me and knowing that I’m going to purposely put myself in a position where I look bad gives me a bit of anxiety. But, it doesn’t give me as much anxiety as not being able to pay my rent so I guess I know what I need to do.

I wonder if I can give my car to a mechanic in the Raceview area when it needs its next service. Maybe I could sell it to them for second-hand parts or something. Do mechanics do things like that? I’m not sure. What did you do with your car when you decided to give up driving?

Keen to hear from you soon mate.

– Jarrod

Living in Ringwood has a lot of perks – but none are better than the awesome mechanic we have in our very own backyard. People drive hours to get a car service from our local mechanic and I’m lucky enough to be able to walk there if I want to. Seriously, if you ask anyone in Melbourne who the best mechanic is in the metropolitan area, everyone will say Ringwood Automotive Services. This mechanic is the reason I never moved, even though I had the option to move closer to the city and the beach. Leaving Ringwood would just be dumb when property prices are going up every day because of how good the local mechanic is. I wouldn’t sell my house even for a million dollars. 

Part of the reason this mechanic is so good is that he really takes the time to look after your car. And by looking after, I mean really look after. He’ll spend one on one time with your car and not let anyone else’s car even be in the workshop. The fact that it’s so exclusive has people from all over the state booking appointments, which is a testament to him and Ringwood in general. I am so proud that the best mechanic in metro Melbourne is a mechanic close to Ringwood. I’m lucky to live near such a highly-regarded and esteemed mechanic. 

I look forward to the next thirty years of our local mechanic’s sustained success. He’s currently in his forties, but he’s promised he’ll work well into his seventies to keep the people of Melbourne happy. That makes me happier than I’ll ever be able to tell anyone. Knowing that he’ll always be there to look after my car is a blessing that I’ll never take for granted. I am going to book my car in for its next three services now because you’ve got to get in early. He’s already booked out for the rest of the year.

I don’t know if anyone else relates to this but how nice is it when you’re driving and then the sun comes perfectly through the windshield. I’m talking about when the sun comes through at a height where it doesn’t get into your eyes, but is still high enough to warm your entire body so that you don’t have to put the car heater on even though it’s the middle of winter. It’s one of my favourite sensations in the world and it makes me feel like I’m wrapped in a blanket ready for bed. 

This was potentially why I got myself into a minor car crash last week. I was comfortable and warm for a solid thirty minutes which made me sleepy. The next thing I knew, I rolled too far forward whilst waiting for the traffic lights to turn green, and I hit the car in front of me. I got out of the warm car straight away, and felt the cold hit me like a truck. I was shaking from the shock of hitting another car and from being ripped out of my warm blanket heaven.

I was shaking even harder when I realised I would have to pay to get an auto repair in Adelaide for BOTH our cars. I’m not made of money by any stretch of the imagination, and I’m dreading the phone call from the other person’s insurance company. I honestly feel betrayed by the sun and the warmth. It was my favourite thing in the world and now it is well and truly ruined. I’m not going to be able to just bask in the warmth of the sun anymore, in case it makes me too tired again.

I’m going to have to get a car air con regas so that I can pump my air conditioner any time that I get too comfortable. I can’t even describe how disappointed that makes me. I’m going to miss feeling the warmth on my body.

I have a really bad track record with buying second hand cars. I’m not sure what it is. I don’t know if I’m just too trusting, too naive or if the people I’ve bought my cars off are just really good liars. But whatever it is, I’ve had enough. I’m about to buy my third second hand car because the first two failed me after a couple of months, and this time I’ve decided to get it assessed by a professional.

I will not be buying the car unless it comes with a roadworthy certificate. Frankston has a lot of second hand cars for sale, which should hopefully make this process easier. If someone refuses to provide me with a roadworthy certificate, then I will not buy their car. I’ve been too lenient about this before but I’ve learnt from my mistakes. 

Once the car owner has supplied me with a roadworthy certificate, I am going to have an auto mechanic in Frankston do a full assessment of the car. I’m not going to tell the car owner that I’m doing that in case they try to stop me, but I’m not buying a car without an overall picture of how it’s going to run and how long it will last. I’ve made this mistake too many times before and it’s cost me a lot of money. It’s worth spending a little extra on assessing the car if it means I save money in the long run.

I’ve just had a car assessed. It’s great! My mechanic said that there’s nothing wrong with the car and that he would buy it if he were in my position. I’m stoked. I’m really hoping that I’ll have this car for the next ten or so years. The next car I buy will be a brand new one, which is awesome, but I need time to save money until then. I won’t be able to buy a new car if I have to keep fixing an old one.

I’m a firm believer that in life, you win some and you lose some. Everything happens for a reason and things even out in the wash. Okay, that’s probably enough sayings for the time being, but they all have a lot of truth to them. Take it from me, I just had one of the worst days of my life to date and I really believe that it’s happened for a reason. 

Let me set the scene for you. I finished work early for the specific reason of going home and surprising my girlfriend who was at home studying for her exams. I was going to ask her to marry me and we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. Well, I ended up walking in on her kissing one of her closest friends who she always told me not to worry about. I fell back and almost leapt out of the house, in a desperate attempt to be anywhere other than there. 

I sped away in my car and I could see her following me in her car in the distance. Then something in my rearview mirror caught my eye. Her car had stopped and she had her hazards on. It looked like something was wrong and then she needed an auto repair. Adelaide is a small city and so I decided to take that as an opportunity to drive as far away as possible. The old me would have turned around and come to her rescue, but I couldn’t believe what I had just seen so I had to keep going. I had to get away.

I didn’t even stop to think about whether or not the car mechanic got to her in time. Usually, I would be so concerned about her wellbeing and want to be there for her. But at that moment I was only concerned about my own wellbeing. I just saw the love of my life kissing her best friend. I was a mess.