Free Eye Test

Eye care / By

It was day ninety-eight of refusing to take my nephew to the eye clinic for a new pair of glasses. The letter which had ordered me to do so was long gone, but so was my sanity. Over the last three months, my family had endured torture unknown to mankind, and it was all thanks to my nephew and that Dumb-door guy at the far-away school. The neighbours had started looking at us with distaste, which was very bad for my overall social status, but my final straw came with another letter. Like each letter before it, this one arrived on our doorstep in the early evening, but it contained only three words: “Remember my last.”

The very next day, I took my nephew to an optometrist local to Bentleigh. I forked out hundreds of dollars for the most highly qualified optometrists available in our area. When we arrived, they offered us tea and biscuits and led us to a plushy waiting room. It was a kind of service my nephew had never experienced before, and he was grinning from ear to ear, thinking I’d finally done something nice for him. Little did he know that I was doing all this to prevent him from ever finding out about his unsavoury heritage.

Apparently, something was going in my favour, as the appointment ended up not just being a glasses repair, but also an eye treatment and free eye test. Brighton has a few of these services around, but they’re rare. My nephew supposedly qualifies for one every year until he’s an adult. Thankfully, that’s one less thing for my husband and me to pay for. Either way, he can take himself to his own appointments after this. He might even do us all a favour by getting lost on the underground network and picked up by one of his own kind. That would be best-case scenario.

My New Career

Disability Support / By

Three months ago I finished my support work TAFE course and now I’m in Barcelona. I am on a six-month trip around Europe and I’m visiting almost every country on the continent. I haven’t forgotten about my passion for support work, if anything my trip around Europe has helped fuel my passion. It just showed me how much better healthcare is in Australia. I’ve seen so many people on the streets that could benefit from positive behaviour support which they’re unfortunately not getting for one reason or another. 

I wish I could take all these people back to Australia with me and give them the support they need. Unfortunately, that isn’t feasible in the slightest so I just have to hope that they will be able to get support sometime soon. I’m not sure if that will ever be the case though. Seeing this has inspired me to do the absolute best job I can do in Australia, because I know just how bad it can be for people who don’t get that support.

Despite finishing my TAFE course before I left for Europe, I don’t have a job lined up for when I get back home. I think that’s a good thing because I want to check out all the facilities offering positive behaviour support in Adelaide so that I can choose the best one to work at. I want to work at a facility that aligns with my values and gives me every opportunity to help those who need it. 

I’ve got three months left of my trip that I am going to make sure to make the most of. I want to come back to Australia feeling free and ready to make an impact on the world. They say before you can look after someone else you need to be able to look after yourself, which is what I’m going to do. I’m going to make sure that I relax and recharge before I start my career.

Internet Inequality

Cable Installation / By

I’m so envious of my coworker who is allowed to work from home full time. I know for a fact she’s just outside tanning most of the time, which is so frustrating because that’s what I want to be doing. I’m just not allowed to because I work on really big projects which have large file sizes. Not only would my computer not be able to handle it, but my internet wouldn’t either. I tried to enhance my wifi signal at home with no luck and so my bosses made me come back into the office.

Even when half the population was working from home, I had to make the hour-long commute to the office each day. It used to be an hour thirty minutes when everyone used to be in the office, so at least I did get a little victory. Anyway, this isn’t about my little victories. It’s about how jealous I am that my coworker gets to do exactly what I want to be doing. Why are office dynamics so unfair? Shouldn’t my work invest in me and give me better quality equipment to be able to work from wherever I want to work? It’s pretty unfair, if I do say so myself. 

Like seriously, how hard would it be for my work to organise someone coming to my home and doing internet and phone line installation? In the Melbourne CBD, almost every man and his dog is a tech giant that could do that stuff with ease. There are only two reasons why my work hasn’t done that. Either they don’t value me as an employee or they’re cheap. That makes me not want to work for them for too much longer.

I don’t like inequality in the workplace and I don’t like that my coworker gets to spend her day tanning when I’m locked up inside like a prisoner. I think that’s fair enough? Who knows. I bet you if I brought it up with my bosses they would make me feel like a whiny baby.

Brake Pad Replacement

Cars / By

I am so deathly afraid of birds… it’s not even funny how afraid I am. I was driving home from work the other day and a flock of birds started flying behind my car. I don’t know whether they were migrating or just sensed my pure fear, but they were genuinely following my car for about two hundred metres. It seemed too weird to be a coincidence. 

Out of fear, I decided that I needed to get the look of my car changed to try and prevent anything like this from happening again. Birds have long memories you see. If they can recognise faces then I’m sure they can recognise cars, and I don’t want them to remember what happened with my car and have it happen again. 

I took my car to the mechanic and got it painted a fresh new colour. Whilst I was there, I also asked the mechanic to do a brake pad replacement. In the Lockleys area, it isn’t uncommon for brakes to deteriorate faster than they should because of all the stopping and starting that has to be done. That’s why when I got a fresh coat of paint I also took the opportunity to get my brakes replaced. I mean, it would be silly not to.

I’ll keep you guys updated on how it goes with the whole birds chasing me situation. Hopefully, now that my car is bright blue instead of a deep red I’ll be able to avoid that terrifying bird situation from the other day. If it happens again I’ll probably cry, and go straight back to the mechanic and get my car painted a different colour. While I’m there I’ll probably get a car electrical service. Lockleys, like I said, has pretty harsh conditions that make it hard on cars. I may as well make getting my car painted a good thing, rather than a bad thing. 

I’ll update you guys on how the paint job goes.

Incessantly bullied

Dentistry / By

I don’t remember a period of time in my life when I wasn’t bullied in school. It honestly feels like I had my first day in school at five years old and then for the next ten years I was to be perpetually bullied every day. I was one of those kids that would pray for school holidays and the weekend just so I could get a break from being bullied. My older sisters were a lot luckier than me, for some reason everyone loved them but hated me. I wasn’t a weird kid either but it honestly did feel like I had a target on my back at times. Any unfair name a teenager can get, you best believe that I was called it! It only got worse when I discovered that I needed braces. I begged for my parents to change their minds or to consider teeth straightening with Invisalign. At least going down the Invisalign route would mean that my braces would be discrete so the students don’t notice them. My parents were tough to convince but they weighed up the pros and cons of getting Invisalign. 

I begged my parents each night for months to not give me braces, but they were adamant it was something that I needed. They told me to just not worry about the bullies and that being this upset was only letting them win. Hearing those words was hard as it was clear they didn’t understand what I was going through. One of the days I ended up crying at the dentist. Bayside had a go-to dentist that most teenagers would visit, so he wasn’t surprised to have yet another teen crying in his chair. He asked what was wrong so I explained that I did not want to get braces. He invited my parents in for a discussion and explained to them the benefits of Invisalign. Eventually, they agreed that Invisalign was the right choice for me. Guess what? None of the bullies even noticed the Invisalign on my teeth!

Where’s His Car?

Cars / By

I’ve been on four dates with this guy who seems pretty decent. I met him online, as you do in the twenty-first century, and I was pleasantly surprised! I’ve had so many failed first dates that I pretty much go into them now expecting them to go wrong. Online dating is great because it’s easy to meet people, but it’s bad because there’s usually always something weird about the person on the other end of the phone. 

My first two dates with Jack were awesome. We met in a public cafe in Moorabbin for the first date and then went to the movies for the second date. I was very impressed with him at this point. Things started getting iffy on the third date. I went to his house for the first time, and I noticed he didn’t have a car parked on the street in front of his house or in the carport. I queried it, because a twenty-six-year-old in my opinion should have a car, and he said the car is at an expert mechanic. In the Moorabbin area, there are plenty of expert mechanics so I didn’t think too much about it after that. 

The fourth date was when I started getting suspicious about his car situation. I invited him over to my house which is just over the other side of the city, and he said it was too hard for him to get to me. He invited me over to his place for dinner instead. I thought this was weird but let it go, and then when I got to his house, there was no car there again. I asked him about it, and he came up with some rushed excuse about how the car suspension specialists still have his car because they want it to be perfect. That’s bizarre in my opinion.

I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and go on one more date with him. If he doesn’t have his car back from the mechanic by then, we won’t be going on another date.

Eight Car Repairs

Cars / By

The last time we spoke, I was either thinking about purchasing a rundown car, or I had just purchased it. I can’t remember the exact timeline because I was so caught up in counting all my dividends and choosing old luxury cars to buy. I chose one (I won’t tell you the make and model for privacy reasons) and I took it to the mechanic straight away. Let’s just say, the mechanic was in awe of the car. 

The first repair I got was a professional brake repair close to Adelaide. I did my research before choosing the mechanic, just like I did my research before buying the old car and buying my shares. I’m a research type of man, and that’s just another reason that I’m so successful. I don’t waste my time working with people who aren’t the best in the business, and the mechanic I chose to restore my car to its former glory is definitely the right person for the job. 

I have had a total of eight repairs done to my car, and it is almost ready to be approved as a roadworthy vehicle. I’ve also had a very successful couple of months on the share market, even by my own standard, and I am ready to purchase another two old cars. I am going to start a collection of old vehicles and then sell the ones I don’t like for fifty times the amount I purchased them for. That’s business, baby. 

I was chatting with my mechanic the other day about my future purchases, and he said that once again he’d be happy to be the head mechanic leading the restoration process. While we were having this extensive conversation, I overheard someone ask for a mechanic to do a logbook service. In the Adelaide area, there are thousands of mechanics who do logbook servicing, but there is only one mechanic who can restore cars as well as mine can. I wonder if he was offended at being asked to do such a minor, uninteresting job. 

Road Trip!

Cars / By

I’m going on a road trip! Starting in Toowoomba, I’m going to drive right up to Tropical North Queensland. I’ve taken three weeks off and I’m going to do a road trip with my three best friends. We’re going to take my car because it’s the newest and I’ve just had my most recent logbook service. Close to Toowoomba, mechanics take logbook services really seriously, so all of us will feel safe in my car. I’m also happy to do the bulk of the driving because I love driving, and I’d prefer to drive my car over someone else’s. 

Our first stop will be Rockhampton for a couple of days, then Airlie Beach, then Port Douglas and then we’re going right to the top – Bamaga. I’ve planned what we’re going to do in each location and even scheduled in time to relax to ensure that everyone gets to do what they want to do. I’m a bit of a planner, which can sometimes be my downfall but I figured that scheduling in relaxation time will satisfy everyone’s needs. 

When I got my log book service, I also got a car air conditioning service. In the Toowoomba area, car AC services aren’t included in logbook services because they’re not necessary for overall safety. I had to pay to get my car AC serviced because I didn’t want the four of us to be sweltering in the car for hours at a time. I love my friends but we’re going to be crammed into a relatively small car for long periods of time, and being hot and sweaty together is a recipe for disaster. Plus, with the air-con flowing through our hair we’re going to be able to live out our dream of travelling around the world (also known as Queensland) together and living our best lives. 

It’s time that I start packing. I think I’m only going to pack one pair of shorts so that I have room for twenty pairs of bathers.

Plumber Hiring

Management Software / By

Okay, so I opted to fire any of my apprentices or plumbers who weren’t happy about me not using a job management tool. I lined them all up in the factory on Friday afternoon and asked them to step forward if they wanted me to start using a professional plumbing job management software. Six of my ten employees stepped forward, and you know what happened to them? They were fired on the spot. They thought that by being in the majority they would have started a collective movement towards the ‘twenty-first century’ as they keep saying, but instead, they got the axe and they won’t be getting a letter of recommendation from me.

The other four who didn’t want me to start using the job management system have all been promoted. They are foremen now and will be getting healthy pay rises. I want people around me who work hard, aren’t reliant on technology and don’t kick up a fuss with their boss, and these blokes are the ones that embody that. They’re also tough and manly, which helps reinforce our company’s image of the strong plumber here to help. 

At the end of next week, I’m going to start the hiring process. I’m going to hire six new plumbers, three of whom are apprentices and three who are fully qualified. Once I’ve done a physical assessment of their capabilities, I’m going to ask them what their thoughts are of plumbers who use job management software for trades and services around Melbourne. If they give me the correct answer they’ll be hired on the spot. If not, they’ll face the same fate as the extremely disappointing employees that I had to let go of.

Doing business the way I’ve always done business is what I need to be successful. I’m sick of people trying to say that I have to ‘adapt’ or I’ll become obsolete. That’s not the truth. These people are just too gullible and believe the lies that are fed to us by big tech companies. No thank you.

Muay Thai Champion

Muay Thai / By

And there we have it, folks. The most anticipated sporting competition in Australia has come to its exciting end. On the last day of Brisbane’s Muay Thai Boxing Competition, we saw June take out Eugine even faster than he took out his opponent in the first round. It seemed like June really used the two extra rounds she competed in as great practice to come out swinging against Eugine, which she did. What do you think, Nath?

I’d agree with you, Kath. It was a fantastic effort by June to win the entire competition even after she had to put her body through so much at the local Muay Thai boxing gym. Eugine just sat around for a couple of days thinking he would come in and easily take out an exhausted June, but she had much bigger plans than that.

She really did. June reminds me of myself when I was young, now that I’ve seen what she’s capable of. I wasn’t barracking for her at the start, but I sure am glad that she won. I love seeing a strong woman win a competition. It’s inspiring.

You’re so right, Kath. I’m a feminist through and through, so watching June win has really made my day. I’m going to show my daughter June’s competition replays when she’s old enough. I probably shouldn’t show it to her now as I shouldn’t condone violence at such a young age, but as soon as she’s old enough she’s going to hit like a girl!

You should introduce me to your daughter when she’s old enough, Nath. I am about as powerful as women get, having won so many competitions. I’ve won more competitions than June, don’t forget.

Ah yeah, sorry Kath, but I’d probably want my daughter to look up to someone a bit younger than you. You know, someone she can train with and do MMA classes with… not someone who is older than her dad. No offence, Kath.

Ha… why would I be offended, Nath?

 

No reason.