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Fast Lane

My dad’s always been one for schemes that strike others as bonkers, and it seems he’s still going strong with this in his 70s. This became clear to me today when he announced over lunch that he’s planning to enter a hot rod competition by grafting a rusty 1940s milk truck body onto a racing …

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Bloom or Bust

I think my housemate might be letting herself get carried away with her enthusiasm for adding new plants to the garden. It’s all well and good for her to be sprucing things up around here; my concern is just that she’s buying new plants at a faster rate than she can look after them. This …

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Solar Entertainment System

Introducing the new Solar Entertainment System! The perfect gaming console for the entire galaxy. It doesn’t matter if you work in an office, a commercial warehouse or from the comfort of your own couch; the SES can go with you anywhere. It weighs less than light itself and runs practically at FTL speeds! Our gaming …

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My Plumbing Book

I can’t believe my book is selling so well! Who would have thought that people actually wanted to read a story about a simple plumber going about his daily life in Melbourne? Definitely not me, that’s for sure. I just assumed that this was a book which would never see the light of day. I …

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Cannot Stand Sewerage

I have never liked anything that is dirty. I don’t like germs, I don’t like animals and I most definitely do not like disgusting things like sewerage or plumbing. There would be no amount of money in the world that could get me to do any sort of job that involved getting dirty, and seriously …

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The Mechanic’s Companion

I kept telling them while they were threatening to lock me up in here: I’m innocent. It’s not even a case of everyone in here saying the same thing, because the inhabitants of this secure facility are out-and-proud evil. They know their actions were utterly immoral, every last one of them, and they can’t wait …

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Balance of Elements

Getting the right balance of going head-to-head with the elements and optimising your ride’s performance is no mean feat. What I mean is, if your aim is off-road adventures, then you don’t want your vehicle to be so cushy that you might as well be driving on the highway. This might not make that much …

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Why, Though?

Here’s a question. Why do property sales always go through real estate agents? Put that in your hat and sit on it.  This is not meant to be making a point, or some kind of brain teaser. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s actually a perfectly satisfying answer out there; as someone with very limited …

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Tree Will

Everyone wants to live on a property with trees on it, right? Wrong. My brother, Robert, is so opposed to the idea that he’s been known to remove a perfect healthy Japanese maple and an adolescent fig tree, just so he ‘doesn’t have to deal with them’. That was his first order of business upon …

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Star Questions

Welcome back to another blog post where I answer questions about my fabulous career as an actor. I’m Zach Jordan. You might remember me from such films as I Don’t Like Sand and You Shall Not Pass. I have quite enjoyed this series so far, despite my initial apprehension. So, let’s just jump into the …

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